• Home
  • Blog
  • Gallery
  • Music
  • About
  • Contact
Posted by Egor 
· September 1, 2020 
· 8 Comments

In a Gotta-do Vida

I have a serious problem with self-discipline. I am a strident practitioner of the “you gotta-do what you gotta-do before you can do what you wanna-do” philosophy of life. Which means I’ve managed to get a heck of a lot done in my many decades — none of which has really mattered one single bit in the grand scheme of life.

By continuing to capitulate to the endless stream of life’s gotta-dos, there’s rarely enough time for more than the simplest of wanna-dos. In a single week, I can write several owners manuals; update and revise others; systematically test new hardware & firmware updates; discuss the design and development of future products; research and learn competitor’s products; manage personal finances; troubleshoot computer issues; fix a few broken items around the condo; chase down several OPS’s (“Other People’s Screwups”); make a few market runs; cook; clean; the usual. The wanna-do side is often balanced by nothing more than the mundane act of watching a movie on Netflix. Which, besides failing to provide actual ‘balance,’ isn’t even something particularly high on the wanna-do list — it’s just the only thing that fits within the time and energy constraints that remain after addressing all those gotta-dos.

And if plowing through the weekly wanna-do list isn’t enough, I’m forever and proactively plowing through next week’s too. Between the inevitable obstructions, my decades-long battle with migraines, and having the immune system of an enfeebled centenarian, I can’t just do what I gotta-do today — I also gotta-do what I gotta-do for tomorrow. That way, when the monkey throws its wrench into the works, the gotta-dos still get done.

So week-by-week, month-by-month, year-by-year, the gotta-dos are achieved and the wanna-dos are not. Which is precisely why I began this article by asserting that I have a serious problem with self-discipline — one that, admittedly, is counter to that which plagues folks with teetering inbox towers; dishes in the sink; and a thriving community of frisky dust bunnies under the bed. I’d like to be more like these people. Really, I would. Except I can never fully enjoy participating in the wanna-dos while the stress of all the gotta-dos is staring me straight in the face.

To date, the only way I’ve found time to slip a few wanna-dos into my life is to convince myself that they’re gotta-dos. This is probably why ULTRAsomething is still hanging around after nearly 12 years — even though it’s the proverbial tree falling in the forest. By making the care and feeding of this site a gotta-do, and by making photography a central component of the site’s language, I manage to turn a wanna-do (photography) into a gotta-do. This elevates photography to the same level as, say, reclaiming a little drawer space by scanning my 1990’s tax returns. ULTRAsomething is an artificial construct whose sole purpose, I believe, is to allow me to accomplish a few things I wanna-do by masquerading as gotta-dos.

Curiously, the one thing I always wanna-do the most is create music. But my particular methodology makes this a totally immersive task — one that requires I dedicate large blocks of time across multiple days in order to achieve the results I desire. Which is precisely why the thing I wanna-do the most is the thing I actually do the least. I’ve simply never found a way to convert something as time and labour intensive as music production into an actual gotta-do. Photography, by contrast, takes very little effort, and is usually accomplished with a simple press of a button while I’m out running my day’s gotta-do errands.

As I slide into the final quarter of my life, all these unaddressed wanna-dos torture me. But the old gotta-dos just keep rolling in — the need for income primary among them. So until I figure out how to monetize my soul-nourishing wanna-dos, I’ll continue to live the gotta-do vida.


©2020 grEGORy simpson

ABOUT THE PHOTOS: Several years ago, in order to prevent the annual gotta-do grind from having a more serious impact on my sanity than it does, I decided that another wanna-do needed to find its way into the gotta-do category: Tokyo. After three trips in five years, I’ve come to realize how important Tokyo is to repairing my spirit, restoring my will, and feeding my soul. In a normal year, I would probably have spent time this past month sorting out this winter’s travel and accommodation plans. But this is not a normal year. So in a grossly inadequate effort to keep Tokyo close to my heart, I opted to populate this month’s article with a few of last years’ Tokyo photos. All were taken with a Leica M10 Monochrom. I could hunt through my database to see which lenses I used for each shot, but that really doesn’t seem like something I gotta-do.

REMINDER: If you’ve managed to extract a modicum of enjoyment from the plethora of material contained on this site, please consider making a DONATION to its continuing evolution. As you’ve likely realized, ULTRAsomething is not an aggregator site. Serious time and effort go into developing the original content contained within these virtual walls — even the silly stuff.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
8 Comments
Categories : Musings
← Next Post
Previous Post →

Comments

  1. Wojtek says:
    September 4, 2020 at 3:14 am

    Hmmm… Maybe switch from that excellent espresso to simple lager once a week?

    Reply
    • Egor says:
      September 4, 2020 at 8:12 am

      I’ll add it to my gotta-do list.

      Reply
  2. Mike Geng says:
    September 23, 2020 at 12:49 pm

    The forest hears you. Keep up the great gotta do and wanna do stuff. I admire you for being able to reflect so deeply and write once a month.

    Reply
    • Egor says:
      September 23, 2020 at 1:05 pm

      Mike: Thanks for meandering through the forest whenever I fell another tree.

      Reply
  3. Rolf says:
    September 26, 2020 at 11:46 am

    All these in a gadda-da vidas!
    The older I grow the more they get me. Sometimes I feel like an Iron Butterfly.
    How can I make it fly again?
    Take my camera and go out.

    Hoping you’ll find time and inspiration to create music.
    Looking curiously forward to your next blog!

    Reply
    • Egor says:
      September 26, 2020 at 12:02 pm

      Thanks, Rolf… next entry is only a week away, though I’m not sure how worthy it’ll be of any looking forwardness. 😉

      Reply
  4. Schrödinger’s cat says:
    October 11, 2020 at 1:55 pm

    The older I am, the less seriously I take gotta-dos. – When it happens I’m surprised with my previously totally unacceptable ignorance mixed with bravery that I can manage somehow later. – And guess what?! Nothing serious happens.

    Reply
    • Egor says:
      October 11, 2020 at 5:00 pm

      Hopefully, I’ll be lucky enough to achieve the same level of enlightenment before I get so old that I forget what it is I wanna-do.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

CATEGORIES

SEARCH SITE

SUBSCRIBE

Receive new post announcements via Email

LATEST POSTS

AI

Dinosaur

Nocturnes

Let’s Get Physical

In a Gotta-do Vida

The Middle of Between

© 2021 ULTRAsomething
Articles | About | Privacy Policy | Donate | Contact