There’s some sort of something out yonder
Can’t see it; it’s too far to wander.
“Instead,” said his friends
“Use a much longer lens
And then you’ll no longer need ponder.”
Clean as a Disneyland stage show,
with pixels and pixels in escrow.
As sharp as Santoku,
but dull as a bank queue,
that’s why I shoot film strips a-go-go.
Tilt it left to tilt right just a tad.
Slice my lip on the dark slide, so bad.
Kerthunk! goes the curtain.
All around me are certain
that a photo is now in my ‘blad.
Drank something, my brain started glitchin’
Heaved demons like some freak religion
I went to the doc
He said, “Dumb as a rock,
developing film in the kitchen.”
When gritty as smashed artifacts,
and murky as gramps’ cataracts.
With literal cessation,
Plus a splash of halation,
It’s ULTRA guy’s photo climax.
Selfie and selfie and selfie
and selfie and selfie and selfie.
Selfie and selfie
and selfie and selfie.
Selfie and selfie. Unhealthy.
From marvel of mankind to junk.
Deflated, I’m slumped in a funk.
The camera is dead.
I’m sensing a thread
That 90’s technology stunk.
At three in the morning, he dressed
And climbed up the mountain, obsessed
To shoot the sunrise
And win the top prize
Alas, he was facing the west.
“Is it loaded with one- or four-hundred?”
Three frames, and she’s already blundered.
“Was I shooting box speed
Or was pushing decreed?”
Such musings, so frequently wondered.
I once shot a few frames of colour
“My eyes!” I said, starting to holler
My brain got confused
By the clashing of hues
Which even repelled the web crawler.
© 2024 grEGORy simpson
ABOUT THE PHOTOS:
Ponder : Konica Recorder half-frame ; FILM = FP4+ at ISO200 ; DEV = Rodinal 1:50
Strips : Olympus Xa ; FILM = HP5+ at ISO800 ; DEV = Rodinal 1:50
Leaky ‘Blad: Hasselblad 500 C/M + Zeiss 80mm f/2.8 Planar ; FILM = TMAX 400 (expired 12 years) at ISO400 ; DEV = Rodinal 1:50
Dubious Potability : Canon Demi EE17 half-frame ; FILM = HP5+ at ISO400 DEV = Rodinal 1:50
Climax : Olympus Xa ; FILM = HP5+ at ISO800 ; DEV = Rodinal 1:50
Selfie : Nikon S3 + Nikkor-S.C 50mm f/1.4 ; FILM = HP5+ at ISO800 ; DEV = Rodinal 1:50
Roller Disco : Konica Hexar AF ; FILM = HP5+ at ISO400 ; DEV = Rodinal 1:50
UFO : Nikon S3 + Nikkor-S.C 50mm f/1.4 ; FILM = HP5+ at ISO800 ; DEV = Rodinal 1:50
Paradox : Minolta TC-1 ; FILM = Fomapan 100 at ISO100 ; DEV = Rodinal 1:50
Huey : Nikon 28Ti ; FILM = Phoenix 200 at ISO200 ; DEV = Lab
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that a photo is now in your ‘blad
makes me feel, I think, that I’m glad
when the curtain goes thunk
you know you’re not sunk
though the photo’s tilted, that’s bad
Ace!
Perhaps I should stipulate all replies be in limerick form.
If Phoenix 200 were mono
I wonder if he’d be so glum?
It seems like he thinks
That colour just stinks
And then he shoots street art pro bono!
(I know it’s a stretch, but at least it rhymes – nice colour work, by the way.)
I can’t decide whether posting limericks is the death knell for this site, or the dawn of a new beginning… but I assure you colour will definitely *NOT* be an integral part of any such dawn. 😉
Since reading your latest blog I’ve had this recurring dream. Each morning I wake and ponder who the message is for. Today it occurred to me that this must be for you:
Spring time in Edo
Daido and Fuji beckon
Time to pack Tri-X
Do with it what you will, but I think you picked the wrong poetry form, St Patrick or not.
Hmmm… it does indeed sound as if I might be the intended destination for this message. Thanks for tuning into the universe and passing it on. You haven’t, by any chance, received any haikus suggesting how I might secure the necessary time off and funding have you?