I don’t take many vacations — two per decade has traditionally been my norm. So in 2015, when I inexplicably indulged in two such adventures (Iceland in March; Tokyo in November), I assumed that would suffice for another ten years. But a strange thing happened — after spending all of 2016 nestled snuggly in my Vancouver condo, I’ve suddenly developed another hankering to journey abroad.
Truth be told, Japan is always calling me — wooing me ever since my first visit in 1995. So, not surprisingly, my initial thought upon the hanker’s return was to simply organize another trip to Japan. But somewhere deep inside there’s a tiny voice that whispers, “try something new.”
If I were the sort of person who kept a “bucket list,” I’d have a ready-made catalog of places I’d like to explore. But since I’m well-practiced in the art of mortality denial, I never bothered to create such a list. As such, my travel inclinations are rather vague. Northern countries seem to exert the greatest pull — Sweden; Finland; Norway; maybe hop across the water to Estonia and Latvia. And there’s something about Eastern Europe that beckons me — I think it’s the architecture and the history, but I can’t say for certain.
So I decided to look at it from another angle. Why not choose a destination where I, ruler of the ULTRA empire, am the most revered? Maybe bask in a little idolatry; check out my statue in the town square; accept some big ol’ key to the city from the town’s mayor and see what it unlocks?
I cracked open Google Analytics to learn which countries sent me the most readers over the past couple of years. Not surprisingly, the top four countries were (in order): USA; UK; Germany; Canada. Hmm. With the exception of Canada (where I live, and thus likely exert a tiny bit of disproportionate influence), these are countries with rather large populations. I’m not sure this is telling me anything useful.
A more accurate representation of a country’s love and adulation would be found in a per-capita analysis. So I set up a spreadsheet listing the top-15 countries in terms of gross number of visitors to the ULTRAsomething site. I then looked up and entered the population of each country, and let Excel crunch the “per capita” numbers.
The results were somewhat surprising. None of the top four countries from the “gross number of readers” list made it into the “per-capita” top-4 list.
So which countries hold ULTRAsomething in the highest regard? From first to fourth, the list reads: Luxembourg; Switzerland; Singapore; Norway.
My first thought was, “well, Luxembourg gave us Edward Steichen, so maybe it’s only natural they like me.” But what’s not natural is the gap by which Luxembourg won. It wasn’t just first on the per-capita list of ULTRAsomething readers — it was first by a whopping 1,000%! So popular is this site amongst Luxembourgers, that I actually checked to make sure I wasn’t Prime Minister. Turns out I’m not. Xavier Bettel must be one heck of a photographer, composer and blogger because he currently has that distinction. I have yet to parse through the registry to see if, instead, I’m associated in some way with the Grand Duchy.
Switzerland, Singapore and Norway are all in a virtual tie with one another — far behind Luxembourg, but also substantially ahead of fifth place finisher, Australia.
I find it curious that only one of the top-4 countries (Singapore) lists English as one of its official languages. Apparently I’m more popular when no one can actually read what I have to say.
So I’m torn. Should I follow the data and make Luxembourg my next vacation destination? Or is there some weird statistical anomaly at play here? Maybe one of the runner-up countries wants to put together a bid? I’m looking at you Switzerland, Singapore and Norway. Make me an offer…
Sadly, the one country I dearly love to visit — Japan — does not appear anywhere on the list of top-15 ULTRAsomething worshiping countries. Cleary, my love of Japan is not reciprocated.
Ultimately, I’m not sure whether I’ve solved my vacation dilemma or merely complicated it. But at least I now know a little something about Luxembourg — handy should the web stats prove authentic, and the capital city key forthcoming.
©2017 grEGORy simpson
ABOUT THE PHOTOS:
“Travel Essentials” was shot with a Ricoh GR.
“Full Travel Coverage” was shot with a Leica M Monochrom (Type 246) and a lens I forgot to document — though I’m guessing it might have been an old v4 35mm Summicron.
“Unencumbered Travels” was shot with a Leica M Monochrom (Type 246) with a Super-Elmar-M f3.4 21mm ASPH lens.
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I would recommend Switzerland.
Regards,
Jonathon
Hi Jonathon:
Any reason?
Whilst I suspect there is a touch more Robert Frank in me than Edward Steichen, I’m not sure if that’ll make up for the 1000% difference in the two country’s per-capita involvement with ULTRAsomething. Of course, I don’t know WHY so many Luxembourgers read ULTRAsomething — maybe it’s not adulation after all? Maybe the site is used in their school system as a cautionary example of what not to do? ?
Now, you kinda halfta go to Luxembourg.
And then, go to Australia.
Go with #4, Norway. The far north fjords areas are stunning, and above the arctic circle, so if you go in summer you can experience the midnight sun.
Egor,
knowing you, why do you want to go to a country where people worship you? I would think that you would like to go to a place where nobody pays attention to you, or at least understands you (might have a point about non-English speaking countries). That feels more in keeping with the ULTRAsomething ethos. No? And to suggest that you would head to Norway for the natural beauty… well, again, I don’t think that reader has spent much time on your site.
I don’t think that you have thought about this long enough. I suspect that you can make this a much more intricate and complex exploration of where to travel next. I know that you can.
That written, any of the top four countries would be nice to visit. Right?
Don
Hi Don:
Ahh… your supposition is correct. However, one must consider that my main goal for any vacation is to remove myself from my “comfort zone.” So being in a place where I’m both known and admired would absolutely insure that I received the maximum possible dose of “culture shock.”
Japan.
That would, indeed, satisfy the parameters Don mentioned in his comment.
3 great shots there, Egor. I feel I could learn something from that unemcumbered mans attitude to life but maybe not his attire!
Great blog,
Dave
If you’re serious about leaving your comfort zone you might want to simply pick a holiday destination from countries you have absolutely no inclination whatsoever to visit (intellectually, emotionally, musically, and photographically). It might even quiet the hanker – get it back in line for the next ten years.
Alternatively, if you insist on keeping the decision somewhat objective, you might organize a poll among your readership – let them decide where you should go. And to add another layer of objectivity, you can then analyze the poll results, and pick the country where most readers want you to visit a different country than their own – so you’ll be sure to visit a country where people who know you want you to stay away, which satisfies the comfort zone requirement.
Go to Poland – Luxemburg (Rosa) was from here.
How about making it interesting, what country gives you the least traffic?
What is it that makes you so uninteresting to them? Asmara is super cool, Chisinau should cover your thirst for the eastern block or what abut Ulan-Ude? Cheers from number four.
Fewest visitors to the ULTRAsomething site (per-capita or otherwise)? Pyongyang.
Maybe a Luxembourg proxy is used to anonymise the traffic to your site. Like Luxembourg banking.
It is a very nice country but i guess no culture shock to a Canadian.
My guess is Luxembourg is a major hub for internet traffic across Europe. Perhaps has some kind of beneficial legal or tax arrangements as well?
Back when I was a kid Radio Luxembourg was the main station we could recieve on longwave from continental Europe.
I’d imagine actually visiting there would be rather soul destroying. I’d be more inclined to head east and take in some haunted soviet brutalism instead. Stock up on Fomapan.
Well, I do love brutalism and I do love Fomapan 400…